The chemistry of Connection revealed by Dr. Love.

I keep saying that the reason I'm so passionate about Ceremony and want us to enjoy more of it in more areas of our lives and communities is because it is so powerful for creating connections between people.

And now I have the evidence from Dr. Paul Zak!  Check out the experiment Dr. Paul Zak conducted at a wedding on the whole wedding party.

Ceremony has stood the test of deep time as a means of revealing to us our essential connectedness.   I believe that awakening to our essential connectedness to each other, the Creation and All That Is is the way we will make the next evolutionary leap as a species.

Rituals for Making Peace Everyday

What could build connections between people more than an active practice of peace?  And what might an active practice of peace look like in our everyday lives?  I so appreciate the suggestions in this article in Spirituality and Health e-newsletter offered by fellow Celebrant and Humanist Chaplain at Rutgers University, Barry Klassel.

  

You have enormous power to help comfort. Do's and Don't for Friends of Bereaved Parents

When a friend suffers the unimaginable, you may feel helpless.  But in truth you have enormous power to help comfort both in the beginning and over time.Do’s and Don’ts...For Friends of Bereaved Parents

View another webinar from J.O.S.H. foundation

"Don't Make a Fuss" -- Remembrances for the "Givers"

Melka was a giver. 

She shared her stories, her wisdom and her wicked humor freely.  She spoiled her grand-children lavishly.  People said it was practically impossible to give Melka anything.  If you did, she’d give you something the next day.

An accomplished chef, she made was always making food for her friends in the building where she worked up until her illness prevented her from carrying on her duties as elevator operator at the Flat Iron Building.  

She was also irreverent, fiery and opinionated.  Though she was raised Catholic she’d come to be spiritual rather than religious with a leaning toward the teachings of Buddha.

Melka made it very clear that she did not want a funeral.  She said “Don’t make any fuss. Just toss my ashes into the ocean and be done with it”.   Givers like Melka often want to spare their friends and family the trouble of having a funeral or memorial service for them.  And people who don’t follow a particular faith tradition often want to spare their loved ones the ordeal of sitting through an inauthentic service officiated by a minister or priest from a tradition that held no meaning for them.

Givers who state preferences for no service at all when they pass away usually think they are letting their loved ones off the hook.  They don’t feel comfortable with the idea of all that attention focused on them (even though they’ll be far beyond any embarrassment or shyness by that point!) 

Melka didn’t realize how much her family and community would need to gather together to share their loss.  The people who loved and appreciated Melka in life needed to make her present to them again by remembering her in story and symbol.  

One of Melka's best friends at  the Flat Iron, Sharon, asked  me to help create a memorial service for the community of friends and family members closest to Melka the last years of her life.  Melka's daughter agreed to talk about it, though she felt unsure of what to expect.

I met with the two of them for about two hours and listened as they told me about her life, personality, her quirks and her most dearly held values.  We chose symbols to honor her life and simple rituals to release her spirit. 

Her daughter was nervous.  She’d never experience a Celebrant ceremony and dreaded the thought of having a memorial service that her mother would hate.   She felt better after our meeting. 

When she read the ceremony before the service her nervousness subsided some more.  When the service was over she felt like she’d received comfort that she didn’t even know she needed. 

Ceremony and ritual help us attend to the big changes in our lives fully — spiritually, psychologically and socially.  Hearing other people speak about what Melka meant to them, listening to a poem that described her mother beautifully and blowing rose petals off the balcony at the Sky Bar to release her noble spirit to the great Mystery – all these gestures woven into a cohesive shared experience helped her and the other people gathered feel that sense of connection that allows us to take the healthy next step on the journey.

From my heart,

Michelle

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Please do!  Just include this complete blurb with it.

Michelle Smith is the founder of Asheville Celebrant.  She is an ordained Inter-Faith Minister and Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant who helps people experience deeper, more meaningful connections in their families and communities.  Whether helping people create personal ceremonies for life’s big changes or leading public ceremonies that build community, Michelle  honors all philosophies, beliefs and traditions--religious, secular, spiritual, inter-faith and multi-cultural.   To explore the possibilities for honoring your own life’s transitions email Michelle at ashevillecelebrant@gmail.com to set up a no-obligation Explore the Possibilities call.

A Share-a-mony for the 99%

A change of enormous magnitude is happening right now at the national and international level as structures of economic policy undergo deep and broad transformation.


Ceremony has stood the test of deep time as the most effective means of deriving peace, positive energy and resolve from the changes and trials that come with being a human among other humans.  This is because ceremonies have the power to connect us and remind us of what we share. 


The Celebrant Foundation and Institute offered the following outline for community or individual ceremony for the growing movement called Occupy Wall Street. Charlotte Eulette, International Director of CFI, calls this offering a "Share-a-mony". It is meant to be a structure upon which individuals and groups may create a ceremony that reflects their personal and community experience.

I share it with you now with the intention that these powerful changes will draw us closer to our highest vision of community here in the United States for the good of all the children of every species everywhere forever.


Things are happening

We reach out to make positive change

We shed a bright spotlight on the people 

99% of us cry out for equality, opportunity and quality of life

We light a candle

We acknowledge people around the world 
that have lost their jobs,

can't find jobs 

lost their homes, lost their lives, 

weighed down with debt - including student loans 

We pound our feet

Let's unite conservatives and liberals as

human beings & create solidarity with each other 

We can occupy peace not war 

We clap our hands

We become people oriented, independent thinkers

making the world a better place! 

We wish not merely to survive.

We wish to THRIVE 

Now Shout: I'm in!!! 

Dance in a circle 

hold hands 

Dance with joy

Dance by yourself in the kitchen 

Dance the dance to promote our circle of life

Dance now 

From my heart,

Michelle


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Please do! Just include this complete blurb with it. Michelle Smith is the founder of Asheville Celebrant. She is an ordained Inter-Faith Minister and Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant who helps people experience deeper, more meaningful connections in their families and communities. Whether helping people create personal ceremonies for life’s big changes or leading public ceremonies that build community, Michelle honors all philosophies, beliefs and traditions--religious, secular, spiritual, inter-faith and multi-cultural. To explore the possibilities for honoring your own life’s transitions email Michelle at ashevillecelebrant@gmail.com to set up a no-obligation Explore the Possibilities call.

Live the Art of Life

While I have created and officiated ceremonies large and small for my community for many years, when I committed to offering my services in the Ceremonial Arts professionally I sought out training and professional development from an institute that would hone my skills and expand my knowledge of symbols from a wider range of traditions and cultures.

The Celebrant Foundation & Institute is dedicated to educating people about the value of ceremony and rituals in marking the important transitions in life. The Celebrant Foundation & Institute offers training and certification for continuing education and a solid background in the theory, art and practice of ceremony.

White Dove Release creates an uplifting moment in ceremony

I'm so pleased to introduce our guest blogger and newest partner at Asheville Celebrant -- Julia Gaunt of Asheville White Dove Releases.  Julia has brought her tenderly cared for and painstakingly trained White Rock (Homing) Doves to communities and families in our region for over 6 years now.

The sight of these beautiful white doves being released and taking flight to the sky is an awesome experience for all who witness it.   

The birds always circle around and gather any stray doves into the flock before they begin routing their way home.  They provide powerful symbolism  for the many ways people seek  to live connected.


As the doves begin flying together - their lived connection to each other allowing them to fly in unison - we feel our  hearts uplifted because we, too, can experience the bond we share with all creation.  


I am so pleased to be affiliated with Asheville Celebrant. Together, we help families celebrate and honor the connections that make life meaningful in ways that people remember for a lifetime.

Michelle is a talented and compassionate Celebrant who helps people create ceremonies that authentically reflect her clients' values and beliefs.  I trust her to release my birds with the same care and ethics I do myself.

Videos of Asheville White Dove Releases for several types of ceremonies such as weddings, funerals and community celebrations can be found at doveladyasheville on YouTube.  

The releasing of pure white homing doves is a harmonious and natural way for an individual, a family or a business to celebrate or commemorate personal milestone events.  An alternative to balloons or rice,  white doves add an unexpected and uplifting highlight to any occasion!

To set up a short no-obligation call to Explore the Possibilities for your including a White Dove Release at your ceremony email us at ashevillecelebrant@gmail.com

Warmly,

Julia

Julia Gaunt, Asheville White Dove Releases

Would you like to share this article?

Please do! Just include this complete blurb with it.

Michelle Smith is the founder of Asheville Celebrant. She is an ordained Inter-Faith Minister and Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant who helps people experience deeper, more meaningful connections in their families and communities. Whether helping people create personal ceremonies for life’s big changes or leading public ceremonies that build community, Michelle honors all philosophies, beliefs and traditions--religious, secular, spiritual, inter-faith and multi-cultural. To explore the possibilities for honoring your own life’s transitions email Michelle at ashevillecelebrant@gmail.com to set up a short, no-obligation call.

5 Reasons to Make Your Business Launch Even More Powerful With Ceremony.

Most people recognize the importance of ceremonies in their personal lives, to mark births, graduations, marriages, deaths and other big life changes. But one of the most important ways we interact in our communities is in the marketplace -- through our businesses.

Rites of Passage help people adjust to change and organizations go through many changes - some celebratory, some difficult.  
Grand Openings, Retirements, Opening a new location, Down-sizing are just a few ceremony-worthy transitions that businesses and organizations experience.


Nothing builds connections between people like ceremony when it is skillfully and meaningfully presented.   Ceremony can help bring a stronger sense a Purpose into your business activities and, as a wonderful side-effect, creates unbeatable marketing opportunities!


For example, one business ceremony that many people are already familiar with is the typical Chamber of Commerce Ribbon Cutting Ceremony.  The Ribbon Cutting ceremonies that I've attended are very nice and may create a pretty good marketing opportunity but I didn't experience them as creating strong personal connections and lasting relationships.


A trained Celebrant can enhance this typical ceremony in a way that is authentically meaningful for you and your business to create an experience that allows people to see your success as part of the whole communty's success.  

Here are 5 ways a Celebrant Ribbon Cutting Ceremony can create a powerful launch for your business:








1. Create a "pattern interrupt".  A custom-crafted ceremony looks and feels different from the very beginning.  People don't expect it so they pay attention! 


2. Attract a better attendance.  If people expect something interesting besides free wine and hor d'oeuvres they are more likely to turn out for your Ribbon Cutting ceremony and bring their friends. 


3. Create emotional connections.  We humans make most of our decisions from the Limbic area of our brains.  This is the area where we experience our higher emotions.  Successful marketers have understood this fact and worked with it, for good or ill, to influence our buying decisions for decades.  (Think of how you feel when you see a photograph of children laughing or a firefighter covered in soot or tropical  beach or a polluted river.)  We don't make most of our desicions from the rational Cerebral Cortex area of our brains.  That area just provides the "intellectual alibi" for the decision we made from our emotional brain.  Meaningful ceremony can create meaningful emotional connections with your businesses audience. 


4. Remember you BIG WHY.  Why did you start this business in the first place?  Sure, to make money but why do you want to make the money?  And why this business? Leading a business to success is not for the faint of heart.  It presents daily challenges.  If you didn't have a bigger WHY you probably would have chosen some other path for making money.  What larger purpose is your business serving?  A Celebrant ceremony can help you remember that Big Why, express it in a way that makes people want to support your business. 


5. Recognize the people who have and will help your business succeed.  In an enhanced Celebrant Ribbon Cutting ceremony you can acknowledge the partners, associates and vendors that you that they have made this business possible and you can express your intention that your success means success for them as well.  




A professional Celebrant can work with you, your managers and your employees to create and officiate ceremonies for your business or organization that are meaningful and authentic.  You contact me to set up a no-obligation call to Explore the Possibilities.  I'll be happy to talk with you about your intentions and ways we can craft a beautiful ceremony that will reflect your life and this part of your story.  




From my heart, 

Michelle Smith 

Would you like to share this article?

Please do!  Just include this complete blurb with it.

Michelle Smith is the founder of Asheville Celebrant.  She is an ordained Inter-Faith Minister and Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant who helps people experience deeper, more meaningful connections in their families and communities.  Whether helping people create personal ceremonies for life’s big changes or leading public ceremonies that build community, Michelle  honors all philosophies, beliefs and traditions--religious, secular, spiritual, inter-faith and multi-cultural.   To explore the possibilities for honoring your own life’s transitions email Michelle at ashevillecelebrant@gmail.com to set up a no-obligation Explore the Possibilities call.

Bringing Food -- Making a Gift of Comfort More Meaningful

When we hear of a death in our family or community often we feel a powerful urge to help, to offer comfort - and so, we bring food.   Bringing food to the family is one of our most universal gestures of support in almost any culture.  


It may be quicker to pick up something already prepared at the grocery store deli. Prepared foods certainly do save time and energy, which we need when we are coping with loss.  Still the message of Death is a reminder to appreciate the gift we are for each other.


So when you wish to offer comfort through the gift of food do consider clearing a bit of emotional, mental, physical and spiritual space to give your attention and intention to the meaning behind the  gesture.


Your preparations needn’t be complex.  In fact, a simple dish is best.  Any recipe that asks the cook to chop a little bit , combine liquid with solid, and apply heat can provide the time and space to bring our attention to the fullness of life and imbue our gift with our intention to support a friend who is facing the profound loss  of someone they loved and depended upon.

First, gather your ingredients, cooking equipment, a candle, perhaps some ceremonial sage or incense.  Arrange them on the counter or table and take a moment to feel grateful for all of the people and all the elements of the earth that came together to bring to this moment a knife, a bowl, some spice and everything else you see before you.


Before you begin pause for several deep breathes.  Feel your feet on the floor.  Bring your attention to the center of your forehead.  Place your hands on your heart.  Call to mind the family or person for whom you are about to prepare this gift of food.  Let compassion expand your breath.


Light the candle.


Here are some suggested words you can say silently or aloud.


Spirit of Life, who alone knows the timing of birth and death, today I learned of the death of _______ and I feel sad for his/her family (of course express your own authentic feelings here).


I know that we must all make this same transition and yet the news carries with it the shadow of fear.  It reminds me that I too must die someday as well as others I love.


So as I offer a prayer of comfort for the people who loved ________, who lost the one most dear to them, I pray also for myself and those who may one day have to carry on a while without me.


I come now to prepare this simple dish as a symbol of the comfort I hope to bring my friends and as a Call to Life from my heart.


You may wish to Call the Directions, if that is a custom you value or simply light some incense or sage and gently blow the smoke as you turn in a clock-wise circle, acknowledging life’s manifesting order of birth, growth, letting go and death.


As you cut those ingredients that need cutting you might say something like:


Spirit (Goddess, Dear Lord, or you need not address the Divine at all if that is not authentic for you) my friend feels lost in the sorrow of separation from the one she loves.  May he have peace of mind, freedom from worry, anxiety or fear.


Placing your hands around or over the vessel containing the dish’s liquid ingredients name the feelings you hope they will be able to experience at this time.  “May my friend have courage to embrace the sad mystery. May she have comfort.   May laughter return once more to her heart ".


As you combine the solid ingredients call to mind your wishes for health and strength in your bereaved friend’s physical body.  “May this food provide nourishment and stamina for the journey ahead.”


As the heat combines the ingredients  bring to mind our own magnificent Sun, the source of all nourishment on Earth, which never denies us its light even through the darkest night.  Acknowledge that change is constant and in a universe so vast as ours the possibility exists for the return of comfort, peace and even joy. "Life changes everything it touches.  And touches everything it changes."


By expanding this simple gesture of support into a personal ritual your gift of comfort can feel even more meaningful and  bring comfort to your own  heart as well.


From  my  heart,

Michelle Smith

Would you like to share this article?

Please do!  Just include this complete blurb with it.

Michelle Smith is the founder of Asheville Celebrant.  She is an ordained Inter-Faith Minister and Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant who helps people experience deeper, more meaningful connections in their families and communities.  Whether helping people create personal ceremonies for life’s big changes or leading public ceremonies that build community, Michelle  honors all philosophies, beliefs and traditions--religious, secular, spiritual, inter-faith and multi-cultural.   To explore the possibilities for honoring your own life’s transitions email Michelle at ashevillecelebrant@gmail.com to set up a no-obligation Explore the Possibilities call.

5 Ways that Ceremony Helps Us Live Connected

Often when I talk with people after their ceremony, whether it is a union, a remembrance or a rite of passage, they tell me they are surprised at how powerfully moved they were by the ceremony we created together.   Sure, it was beautiful, but it was more than that - it was deeply moving and it strengthened their connections in ways they had no idea ceremony could provide.

Our culture has lost most of our ceremonies and the ones that do remain are often just something to get through before the party starts.  Most of us have no idea how much ceremony can enrich our lives.


So here are five ways that we can expect ceremony to help us live more powerful and connected lives:


1. Ceremony enables us to express ourselves, our desires and our intentions creatively and authentically.   When we take the opportunity to mark a transition with a personal ceremony we get to bring our creativity and imagination to the process.   We can include beautiful objects as well as favorite songs, poems and readings.  We can bring our sense of humor and our sense of the sacred.   We can decorate, dance and dress up!  Or we can simply share with others what this transition means and how much we appreciate the ways they’ve contributed to our journey.




2. Ceremony can provide comfort and support. Life is Change.  Whether we are excited about events and circumstances that bring change to our lives or devastated by them, ceremony and ritual help us attend to the big changes in our lives fully — spiritually, psychologically and socially.  The ceremonial arts have stood the test of deep time as the most effective means of deriving peace, positive energy and resolve from the changes and trials that come with being a human among other humans.


3. Ceremony says “this is who we are” as a family or community. Humans are social creatures and meaning-making beings.   We decide what we value by sharing it with other people.  Ceremonies, particularly those we return to such as Renewals of Vows or annual gatherings, allow us to re-connect with those shared values and create a sense of continuity and stability in an ever-changing world.


4. Ceremony helps us shape our present and mold our future.  Even the most eagerly anticipated transitions, like weddings, graduations, the welcoming of a baby or the launch of a business include uncertainty and a shifting of roles and responsibilities.  Studies have shown that meaningful rituals are associated with increased marital satisfaction and a heightened sense of personal identity among adolescents.  Ceremony provides elders a meaningful opportunity to pass down traditions and to give children a sense of belonging to something larger than themselves.


5.  Ceremony allows us to model authentic living to those who look to us for guidance. We’ve got a world to save, people.  I believe it will be saved by people who have consciously declared who and how we want to be in the world, then gone out and lived that declaration.  With ceremony we can share these intentions with our community and gain support for them.  Furthermore, we encourage others to declare their intentions as well.   Whether a change in our life is joyous or solemn, planned or unexpected, when we mark the transition in ways that are authentic and meaningful to us we not only help ourselves respond to the change with intention, we help our families and community respond intentionally as well.


Simply put, ceremony connects us and reminds us what we share. It was my passion for seeing all re-awaken to our connectedness that lead me to become a professional Celebrant and an Interfaith minister in the first place.


In this blog I will be sharing ideas for personal ceremonies and rituals that can help you build lasting connections in your family and community.  I’ll give insights from my experience and training in ceremony structure and theory to help you as you work with a Celebrant to create ceremony for the milestone transitions of your life.


And I’ll share some of my impressions from some of the ceremonies I’ve performed or observed that might reveal some of the wonderful, sometimes surprising,ways those ceremonies have forged connections for people.




From my heart,

Michelle




Would you like to share this article?

Please do!  Just include this complete blurb with it.

Michelle Smith is the founder of Asheville Celebrant.  She is an ordained Inter-Faith Minister and Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant who helps people experience deeper, more meaningful connections in their families and communities.  Whether helping people create personal ceremonies for life’s big changes or leading public ceremonies that build community, Michelle  honors all philosophies, beliefs and traditions--religious, secular, spiritual, inter-faith and multi-cultural.   To explore the possibilities for honoring your own life’s transitions email Michelle at ashevillecelebrant@gmail.com to set up a no-obligation Explore the Possibilities call.